Dear Peers,

a satirical (and simultaneously self-deprecating) letter of slightly (only slightly) exaggerated "confessions":

sometimes i have to assure myself by blogging to make sure my life is cool and interesting and kinda "indie" or something like that.

sometimes i have to absolve myself by confessing really weird thoughts and loser-y aspects of my lifestyle to people who are close to me to make sure they still love me (or even to people i don't know very well, to check if i am still socially-acceptable somehow).

sometimes i have to comfort myself by taking fuzzy pictures of myself (especially when my skin looks bad/bad hair day/feeling fat day) on photobooth to make sure i'm not as ugly as i feel.

sometimes i have to console myself by thinking about people who are really depressed, or who are suicidal, or in mourning, or really poor, or even/almost homeless to make sure i'm actually NOT depressed.

sometimes i have to sabotage myself by eating something of ridiculously high caloric value to make sure i don't really care that i'm not model thin.

sometimes i have to legitimize myself by making a mile-long to do list to make sure there are actually things in my life that really need to get done.

sometimes i have to prove myself by being late, sleeping in, or not doing anything to make sure i have control over my commitments (and that they don't have control over me).

sometimes i have to be satirical to make sure that i feel like people can't judge me (it's called pretend, people. judgment is inevitable).

sometimes i have to stretch myself to do and say nice things to make sure i can still be a good person.

sometimes i have to embarrass myself over the internet to make sure i'm not the only one who feels this way.

sometimes i have to validate myself by writing crazy thoughts down at 2 in the morning (and then seeing if i still feel the same way months later....hence this letter).

sometimes you smirk at people (for being so sincere) to make sure you're cooler than they are.

you can do that, or you can admit that you have ways of masking your own insecurities.

Keep it real,

Holly