Dear Louis XIV,

I happened to stop by your house today, and I was a little disappointed. It could have been a bit bigger, and there weren't enough mirrors for my taste. Also, you went a little overboard on the crown-moulding, don't you think?

But I think you'd be pleased with the abstract rusty pile of metal they added in front of your lake. They call it "art," and it's that junky-chic style that I know was always more to your liking. Next time, just add one more acre of those cool square trees and you'll be good to go.

Shine on.

And may I always live to serve you and your crown,

Holly